I hope you’re having a really good day.

I need to ask you something:

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid of
your loved one with borderline personality disorder?

Well, I guess I should back up a minute and ask you,
ARE you afraid of your loved one?

Because most of the supporters I hear from are afraid
of their loved one. They tell me they feel like they’re
walking on eggshells most of the time, afraid of doing
something wrong.

There are several reasons for this (besides the obvious
face that your loved one has borderline personality disorder).

One of the biggest things about borderline personality
disorder is that the person suffering from it has a skewed
image of themselves. They see things in black and white.

Usually this means that they are right and you are wrong.
Even if you’re right!

Combine this with the fact that they may pick a fight with
you out of NOWHERE! And you never saw it coming.
There was no precipitating factor involved at all.

In fact, you may have been having fun a minute ago,
and the next thing you know, you’re in this huge fight,
and they’re right, and you’re wrong (and you still have
no idea what the fight is even about)!

The worst part is, if you try to fight back, they might
go into a rage, and then you’re really scared, because
then they become unpredictable. You have no idea
what’s going to happen then.

They might just be verbal about it this time. They may
berate you. Tell you how stupid you are. How
you never do anything right. What are they doing
with you, anyway? Humiliate you. Yell at you
(a lot). Scream. Throw things around.

And the fear is always there – Are they going to
hit you instead of the wall this time?

In my main course and resource below, I describe
unpredictable behavior associated with a loved
one who has borderline personality disorder :

SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/report/

NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY?
http://www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline/

Is it the behavior itself that really frightens you?

Or the fact that it’s so unpredictable?

Or the fact that it’s your loved one that does it?

Or the fact that you’re just plain afraid all the
time around your loved one, and you walk around
on eggshells, afraid of doing something wrong,
afraid of arousing his wrath?

Let me ask you something:

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid?

What would you do if your life was more “normal”?

What would you do if you didn’t have to live
like this?

What would you do if you weren’t being yelled
at all the time?

What would you do if your self-esteem weren’t
in the pits?

What would you do if you actually had friends
that you could see and be with without being
afraid that your loved one would get jealous?

And again I ask,

What would you do if you weren’t so afraid?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Your Friend,
Dave

Here’s an article about some new discoveries and potential drug treatment for schizophrenia –

The ambition is to untangle many of the baffling genetic and
biochemical threads driving the developmental brain disorder. While
there are many scientific tacks to take, Shannon Weickert’s search is
shaped by her expertise in brain development.

“I think of mechanisms that change with adolescence,” she explains.
What changes? Hormones, of course, such as the so-called female hormone
estrogen. That “of course” moment led Shannon Weickert and colleagues
to look for genes implicated in estrogen’s business in the brain.

They hit paydirt.

read the rest here –
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24108807-23289,00.html

More than 300 new medications to treat a long list of mental conditions caused by faulty brain chemistry are in development. That list includes everything from Alzheimer's disease to bipolar disorder to schizophrenia.

I read something written by a supporter of a loved one with borderline personality disorder and I wanted to share it with you. She writes:Living with a BP is like living in a pressure cooker with thin walls and a faulty safety valve. Living with a BP is like living in a perpetual oxymoron. It’s a seemingly endless host of contradictions. I feel like I’ve been through the spin cycle on a washing machine. The world is whirling around and I have no idea which way is up, down, or sideways. It can sort of feel that way sometimes, can’t it? Like you’ve gone through (are going through) the spin cycle on a washing machine and, like she said, the world swirling around and you have no idea which way is up,down, or sideways. That’s how it feels to live with a loved one with borderline personality disorder. Many supporters have shared that kind of feeling with me, so don’t feel like you’re alone. In my main course and resource below, I discuss the confusing thoughts and feelings that supporters go through:
SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE WITH BORDERLINE?
www.borderlinecentral.com/report
NEED HELP EXPLAINING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY? www.borderlinecentral.com/explainingborderline
So I can understand the confusing world that you live in, and how hard it is. Someone with borderline personality disorder seems to change constantly. They cycle constantly, like the cycle in your washing machine, going round and round…One day they love you, the next day they hate you, and you never know what you’ve done to deserve this kind of treatment. One day they want you close to them, maybe they’re even clingy and dependent, while the next day they push you away and seem very independent – again, the analogy of the washing machine, spinning around and cycling. One day they seem to know exactly who they are, while the next day they seem to be going through an identity crisis. One time you’re right, then the next time you’re wrong about the very same thing! When you fight, you can never win the fight, even if you’re right! And you always feel like you’re walking around on eggshells around them, don’t you? These are all examples of symptoms of a loved one with borderline personality disorder. I know, that doesn’t make it any easier to be a supporter of a loved one with borderline personality disorder. But you have to stay constant. You can’t let your loved one’s disorder rule your life. You can’t let it change YOUR personality. Remember, YOU are not the one with the disorder. You know who YOU are. YOU don’t have an identity crisis. YOU are not like the washing machine. YOU don’t love them one day and hate them the next. You are sure that you love them, or at least care about them, or you wouldn’t have stuck around this long. Still, it isn’t easy.Some days you won’t know which way is up, down,or sideways. But as your loved one goes through treatment and follows their treatment plan, going to therapy and working out some of their issues, they should start to show some improvement, and their behavior should change. Then, hopefully, they won’t be going through the washing machine cycling any more. And they will be easier to live with.

Your Friend,
Dave

Hope you’re doing ok.

Today I want to talk to you about

WORRY THOUGHTS

These are thoughts that your loved one has that get in the way of their
personal (interpersonal) effectiveness. One of these worry thoughts is that they
worry about bad consequences. This is because they’re afraid even before they
attempt to try anything, of what is going to happen AFTER they try it! This kind of
thing will keep them immobilized, so they won’t do anything at all. That’s why it’s
called a worry thought. They worry about whether they deserve to get what they want.
A lot of people are like this, not just people with borderline personality disorder. They
feel guilty if they get what they want, thinking about the starving kids in Africa, or
whatever. But with someone Continue reading this post…

Medical science has yet to uncover a reason why some people develop bipolar disorder. It’s believed, though, that a variety of biological, genetic and environmental factors seem to work together to trigger these episodes. There are different kinds of emotions that you can feel throughout your life. There are times where you are happy, and there are also times where you will feel depressed about something. This is a normal reaction to the environment. If something pleases you, you will be happy